Today. What can I say about today? Today well SUCKED! Plain and simple. No elegant words to describe the events that took place today the word SUCKED will do just fine. I just decided as I capitalized the SUCKED that whenever I decide to use that word in this blog it will be capitalized. Gotta show emphasis here! Ok so back to today, the day that SUCKED! I woke up this morning with a headache. I should have known then it was a day to stay in bed. I felt like I should have been well rested and without a headache since I fell asleep at like 8pm last night and then was up for maybe an hour and went right back to sleep. Nope! It didn't happen that way. I drive to work and receive a text message that pissed me off. It is something that hurt my feelings, however not intentionally but that is not the point. It never is. Clue #2 I should have stayed in bed. I go in and prepare myself for my Anger Management group. This group is filled with clients who not only have a severe and persistent mental illness that can cause symptoms including but not limited to paranoia, Auditory Hallucinations, Anxiety, and Delusions, but also who have an Anger management problem. **I have to insert a disclaimer here. I actually love my job and love the groups that I "teach". Some days are just harder then others.** So lets recap so far, I have a headache and I have received a message that hurt my feelings which led me to be pissed. So now I am going into this Anger Management group and things SEEM to be going just fine and dandy until after break. A client, who is normally very calm and rational, decides to not be calm and rational. Thankfully my supervisor was in there collecting satisfaction surveys so she could help to deescalate the situation. So client is taken out into the hallway and I have 6 pairs of eyes looking at me like "WTF just happened". But no one wants to talk about it because that would mean actually discussing your feelings! Clue #3. So lets fast forward to 1pm. My afternoon group is Stress Management. Seems like the perfect group for me to BE IN and NOT be "teaching" today **side note: in case you are wondering why I keep putting quotes around the word "teach" its because I am a counselor/therapist NOT a "teacher" yet that seems like what needs to be done in these groups** Ok so in I go to my Stress Management group, intern in tow to observe. We start off group with a check-in. Nothing new. Same thing we do EVERY week. First client to check in tells the group about side effects of his medication which is drowsiness. I present this to the group to see if they have any suggestions for him to help cope. Maybe that was my first mistake. One clients gives a suggestion that is appropriate however is something he has tried. Then *sigh* then this other clients speaks up. I feel like we should name him. Something appropriate and fitting. Something like "Attention Seeker". Yeah that's it. So "Attention Seeker" suggests this client suck on coca leaves. He then proceeds to inform the group what these leaves are used to make, with a smart ass smirk on his face of course. So essentially he is suggesting that my client do drugs to stay awake! My reaction, because as per the above mentioned information I am obviously on top of my game today, is "really! Are you serious?" **Probably not my finest moment. So I proceed to inform the group that I am looking for APPROPRIATE suggestions. Didn't realize I needed to lead off with that. Lesson learned!! "Attention Seeker" starts to giggle in the corner. Now because I STILL have a headache, have residual pissedoffness **made up word, you can steal it if you want** from the text and client incident in Anger Management, my level of patience is at ZERO! **Another side note: Here's some irony for you. For the last several weeks in my Mood&Anxiety group we have been talking about patience** I end it there and move on. "Attention Seeker" is talking while other clients are trying to check in and smirking in the corner because he KNOWS he is doing it on purpose and he has pushed my buttons. Ok so several other attention seeking behaviors were presented from "Attention Seeker" including telling me how he feels, his side effects from his medications, and current symptoms experienced are all "hysterical". Yeah hysterical funny man!! I am about to flip my lid at this point. I think the term is called "Going Postal"! Clients 1 Therapist 0. That is Clue #4! So now its break time and I head directly to my supervisors office. Do NOT pass go, Do Not collect $200. At this point in the story I would like to thank all those involved in helping me to keep my sanity. You know who you are! So I get the pep talk I need and go back to group all pumped and feeling good about squashing "Attention Seeker's" behaviors and guess who comes back acting like a little freaking angel! That pissed me off too! WTF! Ok so lets fast forward to 6pm when I want to FINALLY go home. I shut everything down, collect me things, lock my office, walk to the door and its POURING and I give you ONE just ONE guess where my umbrella is. It is where an umbrella should be on a rainy day MY TRUNK! Clue #5! **Deep Breath, Deep Breath** Now on any other occasion I would have gone back to my office, turned on my computer and gotten some work done, however because this day SUCKED I wanted to get out of there. So I SUCKED it up and walked to my car in the pouring rain. Now just to make me feel even better about this day it slowed down the minute I got to my car! **sigh** Clue #6!
Now that is a LONG story just to lead up to the real reason for this blog. Yes folks theres more :). I decided that because the day SUCKED I needed some comfort. Comfort for me is usually food. Chinese food. I feed my feelings. When I'm mad I eat. When I'm sad I eat. When I'm happy I eat. I eat eat eat eat eat. *sigh* this is not painting me in a good light. . . Anyway so the decision was made to stop by my FAVORITE Chinese food place and get an order of Honey Chicken YUMMMMMMMMMMY! Now I am in my car driving home in the rain and my brain goes to thinking. Sometimes this can be dangerous. What my brain came up with today is this. . . Feelings should be felt, NOT fed! This is something that I have been trying to learn forever. Coming from a person who has always fed her feelings this is a difficult concept to grasp. I decided that it was up to me to change my behaviors **Acceptance and Change happened to be the topic of Stress Management group** Not that this is the first time I have thoughts this. I figured I need to think it and try it until I get it. I want to get it and do it now! So ultimately I passed the Chinese food restaurant, came home and ate something from the freezer for dinner. Doesn't seem like a big deal to most BUT it was a HUGE deal for me especially because today, everybody say it with me . . .SUCKED!!
