Today is the day my dad decided it was time to knock down the gross, raggedy, mold filled, dirty room that is off my back porch. We have wanted to get rid of this for the longest time. Ever since we decided to do this we have been talking about how good it would feel to take a sledge hammer to it. I was the first one since it is my house and OMG it did feel good. I just kept pounding away. My dad, step mother, and youngest sister was there. They all took turns too. I had to eventually come inside because it isn't good for me to be around all that crap considering I am allergic to mold and the dust doesn't help my asthma out any. So I come inside and out of nowhere I break down. I start crying and then start crying even harder because I don't know why I am crying. Its such an odd feeling to be crying and not knowing the reason why. . . I finally stop and I start to think about what this could be. The first thought I have is that I miss Jason but I always miss him and I am not always crying. I was fine earlier so why now. Then I realize it was symbolic. Now you may be asking yourself "what was symbolic?". Well let me tell you. First the mere act of taking that sledge hammer and banging away at the wood is an ultimate release of emotion. The act just brings emotions to the surface you might not even realize are there. The reason I feel I started crying was because of the symbolism of tearing down the old, falling apart, moldy crap that wasn't working for me to make room for the new beautiful space that has many options and possibilities for growth and change that can only be beneficial to my whole being. Its a new year. A time for new beginnings. A time to get rid of the stuff that isn't working for us to make room for things to come into our life to make us happy, promote change and to help us be the best individuals we can be. So with that, I am now smiling! How beautiful is a moment when tears turn to smiles and the unknown turns to insight! I wish everyone could have a moment where they can take a sledge hammer to the crap they want to remove from their lives. If you can literally do it, I whole heartily recommend it!
