I passed my exam . . . Now what?

This weekend has been filled with high emotions. On Friday I passed my licensure exam. I have been on such a high and now as I come down I can't help but wonder whats next? I spent the last 5 years of my life working up to this moment and now . . . now I feel a little lost. To be honest it felt like I would never make it. There was always something else that needed to be done. Now there are only a few more steps to take to complete this part of the journey.



A word that comes to my mind is UNKNOWN. That is what I am walking into right now. There are a lot of decisions that need to be made regarding my future and my career. Do I stay or do I go? Whats available within the parameters I want to work in? Its not about the money but I do need to be compensated for my hard work and dedication that I bring to any job whether it was fast food, retail, or counseling. This new part of the journey is scary but its also exciting too.



Lately I have realized that I play small frequently for fear of how big I can become. I am an intelligent, compassionate, and dedicated person and with those qualities anything can get accomplished. I don't know what exactly I am afraid of. . . I do actually, well part of it. I am sure there is more to this picture. I am afraid that no one will like that "big" person that I can be. Rationally I know this is not true, but I have never claimed to be a completely rational person. More will be revealed about this . . .




One thing is for sure, I am willing to stay on this journey of growth and new discoveries. I feel like I have grown so much in the last 5 years and learned so much about myself and who I am personally and as a therapist and I know there is still so much more to learn.

Serenity + Butterflies = Happiness!

Desktop Nexus: Wallpapers > Abstract Wallpapers > 3D and CG Wallpaper

Everybody needs a good cry now and then. I just finished with one that lasted about a half an hour. It started while watching the movie The Vow (I should have known it would happen). I am not even completely sure why it started or why it continued and why it ended. If I had to sit and think about the things going through my mind during the last 30 minutes I would probably end up making a list of about 50 things. I know that lately my heart has been heavy and has been in pain. I know that most of the time I hide it pretty well which is ironic since I am the type of person that wears my emotions on my sleeve. The depth of the level of unhappiness is what has been hidden. There is so much of my life that is up in the air and it is down right frightening to me. I feel like I am living in fear on a daily basis in one aspect or another. Even while writing this blog my mind is racing about all the thoughts I want to get out. Maybe if I just make a list. Lists help put things into perspective right. 1. _____________ 2. _____________ 3. _____________ 4. _____________ 5. _____________ And just like that my mind is blank. I will revisit this another day. For now . . . I am off to bed. (This was from May 27th. It just never posted. I guess I went to bed to quick! LOL)