This weekend has been filled with high emotions. On Friday I passed my licensure exam. I have been on such a high and now as I come down I can't help but wonder whats next? I spent the last 5 years of my life working up to this moment and now . . . now I feel a little lost. To be honest it felt like I would never make it. There was always something else that needed to be done. Now there are only a few more steps to take to complete this part of the journey.
A word that comes to my mind is UNKNOWN. That is what I am walking into right now. There are a lot of decisions that need to be made regarding my future and my career. Do I stay or do I go? Whats available within the parameters I want to work in? Its not about the money but I do need to be compensated for my hard work and dedication that I bring to any job whether it was fast food, retail, or counseling. This new part of the journey is scary but its also exciting too.
Lately I have realized that I play small frequently for fear of how big I can become. I am an intelligent, compassionate, and dedicated person and with those qualities anything can get accomplished. I don't know what exactly I am afraid of. . . I do actually, well part of it. I am sure there is more to this picture. I am afraid that no one will like that "big" person that I can be. Rationally I know this is not true, but I have never claimed to be a completely rational person. More will be revealed about this . . .
One thing is for sure, I am willing to stay on this journey of growth and new discoveries. I feel like I have grown so much in the last 5 years and learned so much about myself and who I am personally and as a therapist and I know there is still so much more to learn.
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